I spent this year’s vacation in Tres Cantos, a small town near Madrid. I will not forget what I experienced there for the rest of my life. Together with my cousin, I went to a party to meet his friends too;) (I will add that my cousin has been living there for 10 years). When he introduced me to his friends, I felt terribly ashamed, the more so because there is such a custom that people give each other kisses when they greet me. He introduced me to Angel in the first place. (to Anhel). The name means angel and that’s what it looked like, it was wonderful and when I got my first kiss I felt that it was someone very special. I really wanted to get to know him better, but it was it’s terribly difficult, because I don’t know this language, nor does it speak Polish. The only thing we have left is to communicate in English, and neither do he know it very well, so we got along more by signing. And honestly it was very funny.

On the next one the meeting we agreed on conventional signs, the first sign was the desire to kiss. And for the first hour we practiced this sign, doing it right away. It was really wonderful, although I had a boyfriend and I still have a boyfriend, it was just a summer adventure, but unfortunately forbidden because I love the person with whom I am very much. However, what I felt during this vacation, I will not forget for the rest of my life. Such an innocent flirtation, and it turned into love, which, however, did not and could not have a future. One hot evening we went for a walk, we found the old cemetery, I was terrified, but in Angel’s embrace I felt safer than ever.

We kissed and hugged all the way, it was really wonderful. It was midnight, but it was so great together that neither of us wanted to go home. We wandered into some wilderness very far from the city, where there was no living soul within 5 kilometers. We sat down on the wall that had probably separated some farms in the past. Then Angel looked deep into my eyes, I shivered, my heart was pounding like crazy, I felt that he wanted to tell me something, but he was either afraid or did not want to reveal a secret to me. He slowly approached me, he started kissing my neck behind the ear and he was going lower and lower, he gently unbuttoned my blouse, he kissed my whole tummy, in the crowd of passionate kisses I took off his t-shirt then the pants were really very nice when he continued to undress the remnants of my clothes
I felt I had to do it with him, never felt so great, my heart said I love this person.

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We were still completely naked, caressing each other passionately, then something as if it hit me on the head and reminded me that in Poland there is someone who waits for me and loves me more than life. We stopped kissing for a moment, I asked him to hug me tightly (for that we also had our sign), I cried and I whisper in his ear “no puedo” which means I can’t, and although I wanted to make love to him, I couldn’t my mind said something else. It was terrible believe I was crying for another half hour. I didn’t know what was happening to me. Then it was around 3-00 in the morning we were going home. He stopped, grabbed my hand and whispered “Te quiero” which means I love you and I told him I love him very much too.

We sat down in this wasteland and looked into each other’s eyes for a good 2 hours, I never felt like that before. I just felt that there was an Angel by my side. I was seeing him for 3 more weeks, because that’s how much left until my departure. And every day it seemed to me that I wish we had done it then, still seeing him, I had that day in my eyes. But from then on, he didn’t want to kiss me anymore.
Of course, I told him why I did not want to have sex with him then, he said that he was not surprised that a woman like me was not alone in Poland. But all this time me I knew he loved me, every time it was time to come home, I could see tears in his eyes, even though he pretended to be hard, I knew he was crying coming back to himself.

Because I cried every night, I think I loved this man, or maybe it was just infatuation? Anyway, the day of my departure has come, I packed myself at night so that I could spend the last hours of my stay in Spain with Angel. I heard the doorbell, opened it, and there was a bouquet of beautiful red roses, and inside there was a note in Polish from him, which he wrote with the help of my cousin. “Magda, dear, I will miss you very much, I am glad that I could meet someone as special as you.

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Never about you I will forget. Sorry, but I’m not coming to say goodbye, it’s too hard for me. I love you and remember that you will remain in my heart forever. I cried like a madman, got on my bike and rushed to his house. Nobody opened, I was hitting myself for an hour. I felt he was there. But unfortunately I returned to my cousin and sat in the armchair for 5 hours thinking about what happened during my stay here and how I will tell my boyfriend about it all. Well, it’s time to get ready, we loaded the luggage into the car and on my way to the bus station in Madrid, I wanted to go to Angel first. He was gone, and I wanted to say goodbye to him and apologize for everything. Time was running out, so we went to the station. I got on the bus, I leaned against the window and cried. Suddenly someone knocks on my glass, it was him !!

My heart started pounding again as it did when I saw him for the first time at this party. I was wondering for a moment whether to get off, there were still 5 minutes until departure. My heart ordered me to run to him and I did so, I threw myself into his arms, I felt that I love him, but not only him! Without a word, he kissed me so passionately that I could not say anything, there was little time left, so we wanted to feel what we had in common for at least a moment. Unfortunately, I had to get out of it all, I didn’t even apologize to him, we didn’t say goodbye to each other, I remember that we were waving ourselves as long as possible. Now that I’m home with the person I love, I wonder if it’s possible to love 2 people at once! I do not know what happened to me, I loved Angel, but I’m glad that then on this wall I told myself
no. I know that I would regret it for the rest of my life because I would lose the man I love. Because I know he would not forgive me for that.